Training.

Where does time go? Why does it not stop? When will life slow down?

My oldest will be 8 soon!

I am almost into the fifth month of this pregnancy!

It is already the end of May!!

My baby boy will be 4 in about two weeks!

My heart is heavy and my guilt is burdensome. During our worship on Sunday the pastor (my husband) made a statement that has made me think. Long and hard. It has weighed on me for days now. I keep hearing it. I keep dwelling on it and praying over it. Conviction is hard, but when God uses your husband to deliver the message sometimes the pill is even harder to swallow. He asked this question – “Are you giving your all to God?” Of course I told myself yes. But then he went farther, he asked this next, “Are you being obedient in every area He has called you to no matter how much it hurts or is inconvenient to you?” WOW!!

Most of us would say that we are giving God our all. But, in my own life I thought I was but when I really thought about it this is what I saw. I saw a calling on my life to read the Word to my children daily that wasn’t happening. It was being crowded out by computer time, laundry, and sleeping in. I was reminded of a calling to be more cheerful in my daily duties, while most of the time I trudge through my work out of obligation and not filled with joy over God’s calling on my life. I found a calling to bring children into this world to train and raise them to further God’s kindgom that was being done with complaining and weariness. And I know there is more to come.

I was serving God but NOT with my all. I was serving Him in ways that I could and yet still be comfortable or self-focused. I have seen that I must put God’s things first. Reading the Bible to my children. Embracing each pregnancy with joy and blessing even it means more resting and sitting and a less than perfect home. Working within this calling of wife and mother no matter how bad the day with a peace that passes understanding and the joy of Christ in my heart. I will put off these things no longer to give into the comfort and desire of my flesh. I will train myself to serve Christ with all I have and all I am.

I will serve Christ. I will serve Him with my ALL. ALL the time. ALL the way. In ALL I do.