3 Keys to Well Behaved Children

They run screaming through the pharmacy. They stomp their feet and yell in the toy department. They can even be heard at the park when a parent says, “It is time to go.” These sounds are uttered from children that are used to getting their way. These children do not like to do things that they don’t want to do and some are loud and vocal about it. While others may not be as loud but their words and facial expressions are full of disrespect and attitude when their parents exert authority. If you desire a different response from your children when you tell them to do something today I have 3 keys to well behaved children for you to consider.

The first key is consistency. Whether it means pulling the car over or leaving a friend’s house early if you say it, follow through with it. Don’t reward bad behavior and don’t tolerate disrespectful attitudes. After your children realize you are willing to do the hard things and will stop at no length to train them to obey and respect they will normally start to obey quickly when you give an instruction. You don’t want to wait until they dart out into a parking lot to see how quickly they will obey. With consistency you can have the confidence that they will obey immediately, the first time you say it.

The next key is direction. Be clear and to the point of your expectations and the consequences if those expectations are not met. Whether you are headed to the grocery store or to a meeting prepare your children for what will be asked of them and how they should behave. This is especially helpful if there will be other children present that may have different boundaries than your children will. As we approach our destination I will begin by telling my children what we will be doing. Then I tell them, “I want you to ………. ” Then I will ask if they have any questions and will make sure that they understand. This way I can be consistent with my discipline if the directions are not followed.

The third key is attentiveness. The more that you engage with your children when you are not busy and you can, the easier it will be for them when you can’t give them attention. I am not making excuses for disobedience but children that do not feel secure and well cared for often struggle with self-control and anxiety. In some situations they act out in an effort to get their parents’ attention even if it is negative attention. If children have a sense of security they long to please you and to see you smile. As you pay more attention to your children you will find opportunities to invest in their hearts and to train them to obey in a loving and nurturing way.

All of these go hand in hand to help us to have well behaved children in any situation. This parenting thing is hard work and not for the unmotivated. It takes dedication to years of putting your desires and wants below the needs of our children. Training our children should be our number one focus and ministry during these years. The Bible is plain about whose responsibility the training and raising of children belongs to, and it isn’t a school, a church, or a babysitter. It is us as their parents.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21  Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land the Lord swore to give your ancestors, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth.