Toddler Training – Part 2

In the first post in this series we talked about toddler training toward obedience and sitting still with self-discipline. Today, I want to focus on respecting other people and their things. This is a very hard concept for toddlers to grasp and another one that takes constant work and commitment from the parent. We must learn to be actively engaged in our children’s lives almost constantly if we wish to train them to be respectful and considerate of others. Toddler training isn’t easy and it is hard to stay motivated when every day seems to be starting all over again. But just remember that it is worth it in the end.

During this stage of toddler training we have to keep our expectations realistic and remember to offer lots of positive feedback when they make a good choice. One of the first ways that I try to instill this respect of possessions into my young ones is through picking up. The simple act of cleaning up their blocks will start to instill a sense of responsibility in your child. They will see that everything has a place and that it is a good thing to clean up and take care of their toys. I also involve my toddlers in things such as putting away socks, picking up shoes, and even in wiping up a spill when they make a mess.

While they are “helping” to care for the things around them I strive to use phrases such as, “Good job putting your toys away.” or “Thank you for helping me take care of our home.” and “You are such a big ____ to be cleaning up your mess.” These phrases encourage them and help them to be proud of helping and taking care of things.

When my toddlers get into someone else’s things that they don’t have permission for I try to always stop, get to their eye level, and firmly tell them that is not for them and to return it right now. If they obey the first time and return it without a fit, then we move on and all is forgotten. If they resist or throw a fit when asked to return it they are then further disciplined in an age appropriate way.

 

 

Please don’t get me wrong, this process takes a long time and I truly believe that it can not be fully learned until your child gets older and gains a little more maturity to understand possession better. But in the mean time, I strive to have a toddler that can share with a good attitude, knows to stay out of stuff that doesn’t belong to them, and can be trusted to handle items appropriately. I don’t tolerate toys to be broken on purpose at any age. This requires immediate and firm intervention.

Toddler training can help a toddler play in a group without going from person to person taking things away and wreaking havoc in the room should be the goal of all parents. And that goal is not for the faint of heart. It is one that takes dedication and determination to reach. Here is a list of ways we strive to reach this goal in our home –

• Give toddlers lots of opportunities to play with different toys/books with close supervision.
• Allow toddlers to explore their environment again with parental involvement but let them satisfy their natural curiosity.
• Set consistent boundaries for playing with toys. For example, in our home everyone has access to books of all kinds. But we have rules about books that include you must be sitting to look at a book, only one book off the shelf at a time without permission, and books are special treat them with care. This allows for a toddler to feel more like a part of the family.
• Stay alert when your toddler is playing in a group and try to head off any issues. Stop your child before they get that toy in their hands or hit their friend. It is easier to remind your child not to take toys away then it is to get them to return a “stolen” toy.
• If your toddler just can’t get along in a certain situation then be the parent and remove them. It is often hard to leave a visit but it will be worth it to show your child that some behavior just isn’t acceptable.

Toddler training is hard and exhausting work. But, my friend, you will reap the rewards of your efforts for years to come. After this labor intensive season, your job will be so much easier, your life more peaceful, and your child a joy to be around. What is your best toddler training tip or trick? How do you make your toddler behave?

You can read PART 1 HERE.