Well, this post maybe should be titled “Early Morning Ramblings” as it is almost 1am as I write this. Something is up. My shoulder is giving me fits and keeping sleep at bay. I am hoping that typing will help work out the “kink” so that maybe I can get a few hours sleep before its time to rise again. I should be tired. I am tired. But sleep isn’t coming. My mind is running 100 miles a minute. Josiah has been sick all weekend. I have a ton of laundry to do from that. I have cabinets and drawers and closets that I want to have organized before baby comes and we are almost down to 5 weeks! I need to get this house organized so that while I am recovering from the c-section other people can find things to keep the house running. I want to get the freezer stocked, we must finish the basement, the crib isn’t up yet……. and so there goes sleep out the window.
During these very quiet, dark late night hours that I have been keeping lately I have spent much time in prayer for my family and others. I truly desire to see change in the lives of my friends and family. The only way that I know to do that is to pray. So, I started asking God to show me more opportunities to pray. Well, maybe I should have been a little more specific because 1 o’clock in the morning wasn’t what I had in mind. But I am using it to His honor and glory as much as I can.
I have also been thinking a lot about my “cross” still. I realize that I never finished that post. I used to think that Christ’s command to deny myself and carry my cross daily meant in spiritual service to Him. And while it does require focusing on what is important to Christ, it doesn’t always mean a “spiritual” cross. Let me explain. For some of us, denying ourselves and carrying our cross might be to put away that sewing, scrapbooking, reading, or computer to spend time with our children. For others it might mean leaving the dishes overnight to take a family outing to the park. At times, we don’t have to deny ourselves of things that are “evil” or “wrong”. The very things that we are denying ourselves of might be very good in their own regard. But sometimes our focus is “off”. I know mine gets that way sometimes. Putting off play dates, park trips, tea parties, or board games because the laundry isn’t caught up or the dishes aren’t done. This, at times, is wrong.
While we must be an example of responsible adults to our children and make sure that we accomplish our tasks with diligence and energy and joy, we must show them that people are the most important thing. There will always be laundry and dishes and floors, and blogs to read. But children will not always be small. And when we stand before Christ, I don’t think He is going to care one bit about how seldom you woke to dirty dishes or how high the piles of laundry got. He will care about how we loved those He placed in our care.
So, I am trying to “deny” myself of the desire to be always busy and take the time to focus on what is truly important. And that, my friends, is denying ourselves and carrying our cross. We must follow Christ’s lead as this will look different for each one of us. But it is a command given to us by our Lord and we must follow.
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